I Am the Tonjinator: kid fights

07 August 2012

Double Your Pleasure, Double Your Fun?

Tonight's battle royale between my daughters began over a piece of chewing gum. The Tonj picked up a pizza, sub, and the ever-critical (to me) diet Coke on their way home from cheer practice tonight. And, I guess he bought each of them a pack of gum. ::props to the Tonj for taking care of all of this tonight while I was making the blog pretty::

It is my firm belief that Olivia took the last piece of Sophie's gum. How two children managed to chew 23 pieces of gum in 90 minutes is beyond me, but this caused Sophie to knock Olivia's glasses off of her face, which wouldn't have been a big deal if the glasses hadn't been broken before and Gorilla Glued back together. It is a HUGE deal to smack glasses off your sister's face, in my mind.

WHAT THE TONJINATOR DOES

Wimps need not apply. Duties always include:

· Oscar-caliber performances of various kinds for youngsters and/or spouse;

· wiping countertops, snotty noses, and children's bottoms;

· cooking gourmet-caliber meals which are usually eaten by no one but the chef;

· transporting youngsters to schools, practices and lessons, all doctor appointments; attending all school functions such as orientations, conferences (especially fun when the spouse attends and the teacher looks like a supermodel), PTO and school board meetings;

· conquering daily mountains o’laundry, which often include clean articles of clothing which have been thrown on the floor and ended up in the laundry sorter I was supposed to stencil in the spring of 2012;

· picking up messes which “may or may not” have been made by my daughters or me;

· tolerating the weirdness that is the Tonj, who is the drumming, commercial lender of a husband. Fortunately, he picks up after himself, most of the time.

An avid reader of anything from classics to smut to trashy autobiographies to serious nonfiction. The occasional glass of wine and mani-pedis late on Saturday night – That’s how I roll.